In the wake of engagement season, the blossoming of flowers and the ever so present visits of pollen, single women have found themselves both congratulating and wishing. Being happy for friends and family who are taking that next step in life, but wishing that it was their time. I can’t tell you how many times I have had conversations with friends about how we’re happy with God and YouTube videos, but then there’s that one post. That post that makes you get down on your knees and ask the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob why you’re still single. When is it going to be your turn?
One of the greatest challenges often facing women of God is this: we focus on the relationship and not the ministry of marriage. We see people in relationships boasting about ‘date night’ and posting silly pictures with one another, and we want that. We want someone to hold us, and laugh with us, and be silly with us. However, many times, many of us lose focus of what marriage is. Marriage is ministry. It is about leadership, unity, submission, love, devotion and fortitude.
The marriage between man and woman is a representation of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church (ref. Ephesians 5:22-31). Therefore, it is important that you not jump into a relationship half-heartedly.
As happy as those relationships seem, if those couples already haven’t, they will hit a bump in the road where they don’t see eye-to-eye. There will be a bump in the road from outsiders trying to make their way in (and I’m not just talking about infidelity; I mean those people who want to always give you an opinion about your relationships, as opposed to Godly advice). It is in those moments that faith in God, one another and your purpose will be tested.
Every day will not be a day of romance. So, getting into a relationship only for that takes away from the limelight of why you’re really supposed to be doing it.
Here are four things to do to help you in realizing the beauty in it all:
1. Do a study on what marriage is. Go beyond the glitz and glamour and find out what it really is all about. Find out how your future husband should be treating you and how you’re to treat him.
2. Do a study on singleness. Singleness is not a bad thing. Singleness is a ministry in and of itself, as well. Discover how your singleness is ministry, and how you can use it to bless others.
3. Have date night with God. I’ve taken God on dates, exclusive of devotion. Go to dinner, just you and your Bible. Talk to God in the car on the way to varying destinations. If you have a complex about going out alone, stay in and cook dinner. Have intimate time with Him like you would on a date night with a man.
4. Surround yourself with others who will encourage you. One of the worst things you can do as a single person is surround yourself with other single people who can’t see (and won’t try to see) the positives in being single. After a good, old fashioned venting session, you want people in your life who will genuinely pray with and for you.
*BONUS advice* Cut out or limit romance novels, movies and love songs. You might not be like me, but doing this helped me gather my thoughts. There was a season I didn’t listen to love songs or watch any romance movies because it would only make me think negatively about being single. Eventually, I eased them back in, after God helped me understand and see the beauty of being single.
Remember to NEVER give up on God. Find substance anywhere you are in your life. You’re not lacking just because you’re single. You’re valuable, so don’t discredit yourself. Enjoy your life what God has made it, as you follow His divine order, as you wait for your future husband.