There are certain sayings that on the surface appear to be a bit selfish. Like the saying “I can do bad all by myself ” or “I don’t need no one. It’s team me, myself and I”.
While these sayings may sound like they’re coming from a place of arrogance and pride, to the contrary, they come from a place of self-defeat. Many of us as women have experienced a certain level of defeat in our lives, particularly in our relationships/friendships. I know I have.
In this place, we begin to devalue relationships and start to believe that everything and everyone is working against us. We settle for the lie that life can be lived alone without the complication of building meaningful relationships.
However, what some of us fail to realize is that in order to embrace the benefits found in a true friendship or a healthy relationship with the opposite sex, you must first be willing to offer those same benefits to others. In short, you must first become what you seek to receive.
The wonderful thing about friendships is that we get to choose them. They are vital to our existence, yet they are not easy to create or maintain. It takes time to develop valuable friendships.
Here are 10 ways to build Healthy Relationships:
1. Keep your word (Trust)
When you keep your word you establish trust. Any healthy relationship must have trust that demonstrates that you mean what you say and you say what you mean. Have an open mind and heart that creates confidence and commitments.
2. Create time (Loyalty)
Making time for your relationship is evidence of your loyalty. Life keeps us busy and can be equally unpredictable. But if you say you’re going to be there, show up and make provision when you can’t.
3. Acknowledge Beliefs (Respect)
We may not hold the same beliefs, but a real friendship will allow you to maintain your own beliefs. Learn to respect boundaries. If you know your friend, co-worker, etc. doesn’t participate in a particular activity, respect that and learn to accept it.
4. Confront Fears (Growth)
Healthy relationships offer growth. You want them to experience life abundantly. You help them create memorable experiences especially outside of their comfort zones. Good relationships enhance you, and will never attempt to diminish you.
5. Listen (Understanding)
Doing less talking and more listening. Shows that you are concerned about their feelings. Take time to listen, address, and validate them. You may not always agree with them but always try to understand them.
6. Speak highly of them (Admiration)
Discover their good qualities and celebrate their accomplishments. Show them appreciation and don’t hesitate to compliment, cheer, and encourage them. Remind them of how important they are to you.
7. Help them keep their word (Accountability)
Keep track of their goals and resolutions, and help them commit to taking action. No, you can’t force them, but you can help them by offering a friendly reminder.
8. Correct them (Reprimand)
I know what your thinking, who am I to reprimand anyone? Most people don’t want this but in a healthy relationship there is reprimanding. You want the best for them, so if you see or feel something is wrong, you should check them quickly. Don’t talk about them, talk to them.
9. Crack them up (Laughter)
A good laugh is a natural form of medicine and healthy friendships always have a dash of it to offer. You know how to keep a smile on their face long after the joke is over.
10. Always Pray (Love)
Every relationship will require time to meet needs, but as humans we are limited. We don’t always have the answers. But in a healthy relationship there is always prayer. Your love for them causes you to pray with them and for them.
Every relationship may not require these values to survive, but it is definitely important that the friendship is reciprocated. When we maintain healthy relationships we foster an environment that helps to shape and transform our lives to being a better person period.
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverb 18:24)